I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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