i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
