Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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