party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize