Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
