Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
