Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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