Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
