$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
