I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
and you fell through a lawn chair
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
