whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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