vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
