I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We are all done wearing pants today
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
