im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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