You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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