Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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