I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
