how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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