we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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