oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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