all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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