holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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