too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
