The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
