i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
