I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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