There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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