Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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