I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
