I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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