If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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