I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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