even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You're like the curious george of whores
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm at about main and main street
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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