Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
