____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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