I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
