we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
