well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fuck appropriateness.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
