im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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