I'm really into asian looking animals
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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