Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
