just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
