When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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