operation harelip BJ is a go
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
