babies were throwing up all over the place
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
