She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
