'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
