So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
