So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
