Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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