I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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