Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
